Things to think about

NEbWc6Ma_400x400Someone sent me this email, and it’s one of the few that I actually laughed at. Here goes:

  • Can you cry under water?
  • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
  • Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
  • Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
  • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
  • What disease did cured ham actually have?
  • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
  • Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
  • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
  • Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
  • Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
  • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
  • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
  • If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
  • They’re both dogs!
  • If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  • Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
  • Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
  • Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

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